Let Myself Fall
by watchxxthexsky
Summary: It was rarely easy, and there were moments it all seemed to be too much. In the end, nothing else mattered as long as they had each other. LP.


Okay, so the other night's episode has my emotions all over the place. I take this Leyton relationship way too seriously. But, I have so many different thoughts about the episode, I can barely contain them. However, no matter how sad it was – it reassured me our couple is meant to be. So, I will be forming my ideas into a couple different one shots. It may be unreal and too sappy, but I needed to do this. This will probably be the happiest one shot I do. Because after last night, we need a little fluff. I have a few angsty ones lined up, but I need to feel happy!

It's kind of long – and maybe a little cliché. Overall, I like the way it came out.

Title is from a Rosie Thomas song, as are the lyrics. :)

OTH is all Mark Schwahn and Tollins/Robbins. Not mine at all.

* * *

_I let myself fall  
I let myself fall  
I let myself fall  
In love with you_

The lock clicking shut on the hotel room door was his undoing. He slumped against the cold wall, and tears flowed down his face unchecked. After they laid down together the previous night, no words were spoken. Then when she fell asleep he spent most of the night just looking over and memorizing her, trying to come to peace with the fact that this may very well be the last time he sees her; the love of his life. In his heart, he knew that maybe he was springing this all on her and it was too quick; too much too soon. But now that he had said it and everything was out in the open, there was no taking it back. On top of that his heart and his pride were stinging with rejection.

After taking a moment to regain his sense of self and stop the steady tear-flow, he picked his luggage back up and started a slow, unsure walk toward the elevator.

When he was halfway down the hall, he heard a door being roughly thrown open, and for a moment, he hoped it was her.

"So, this is really how you want to end things between us?"

Hearing that it was indeed really her there behind him, he stopped abruptly in his tracks. Though she was angry, Lucas could hear the fragility and fright in her voice. He slowly turned around and looked into her broken eyes.

"What else is there to say Peyton? I think last night said it all," He spoke with trepidation, and he refused to meet her eyes. It was too painful.

"What is there to say? Luke, there are a million things to say. You can't leave me, not right now! We have to talk about this. If you get on that elevator and walk out of this hotel, we're both going to regret this, I know it. So _please_ stop and think about this, and come back in here with me," she pleaded.

Lucas shook his head and took in a deep breath. "You said no, Peyton… what else do you need to say?"

Peyton closed her eyes and clenched her fists, groaning in frustration. She opened her eyes and walked over to him, in a state of frenzy. "Lucas, I did _not_ say no. I said not right now, there's a big difference! I even told you – I do want to marry you, but right now, it's not the right time, Luke. You have to know that. You have to know how much I love you and that you… well, you _are_ my forever." Somewhere in the middle of her speech, she had grabbed both of his hands and forced him to look at her.

His pride was still hurting greatly, and he couldn't take in her sweet words. He gently removed her hands from his and stepped away. "Then why can't you marry me?" He asked the second before the elevator doors opened and he stepped in.

_There's no turning back  
There's no turning back  
There's no turning back  
Since I let myself fall in love with you_

Lying face down on the bed, Peyton wondered how it had all gotten so out of control. Yesterday at this time, she was a girl in love, who was immensely proud of her boyfriend. And even though they were thousands of miles away, he was always close in her heart. She didn't get why he couldn't just hold off for another year, or wait for their dreams to come true. She knew one of them would end up resenting the other, and that would be the greatest heartbreak of all.

Thinking about last night and the shock and hurt written on his face had her falling into a dangerous pool of emotions. She was sad, angry, upset, confused, and a million other feelings she couldn't quite place. All Peyton wanted was him, and now once again, they'd found a way to put distance between them and shattered everything that was good.

Peyton knew she should get up and get out of the hotel room that just made her think of the heart wrenching events that took place last night, but she wasn't ready to leave just yet and lose that last piece of him. Thinking it all over for the millionth time, she began sobbing. Not quietly and not discreetly; large heaving sobs, gasping for breath, and tears blurring her vision and staining her porcelain cheeks. She was crying so hard she didn't hear the door open or feel the presence of another person in the room until she felt the bed dip.

Peyton sprang up, surprised, and looked at the intruder. She half sighed in relief, and half sobbed again seeing that the intruder was Lucas. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms and cradle her against his body, holding her tenderly as if she were a broken child.

Feeling herself in his arms once again, after she thought she'd lost him forever, just made her cry harder.

Lucas wasn't used to this; sure, he'd seen Peyton cry a few times, and he'd seen her upset, but she'd never been this emotional or torn down. It was breaking his heart all over again to know he caused her this pain and sorrow. But, he knew he was the one who could fix it, as well.

After calming herself down and the quiet hiccupping set in, Peyton looked up at the man she was wrapped around. She noticed the stray tears falling down his cheeks, and the redness in his eyes. She brought her hand up to cup his face, just to feel him again. Upon contact, Lucas closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, his face distorting with tears of sadness once again.

"I was afraid you'd left for good, and that this was it. My last time ever seeing you," She spoke softly, afraid if she got any louder he'd walk right back out the door he came in.

Lucas shook his head and tightened his grip on her. "I couldn't. I went down to the lobby and I sat there for the past hour. I couldn't force myself to leave. I fully planned on it this morning, but your words in the hallway stopped me. I thought about how much I love you, and that if I left you right now, my world would be empty, and I would be so completely… lost."

"We can work through this Lucas, we have to. I can't lose you. We're supposed to be together. If that's not true, then I don't know what it is." She moved herself off of his lap to sit right in front of him, legs crossed, and still gripping his hands.

"Last night…" She started again, but he cut her off immediately.

"I was at that game, watching as once again, my dreams were coming true. I watched Nathan and Haley with Jamie, and saw how happy they were together, and I wanted that. I wanted you with me, for always. I was reacting to so many things at once. Their happiness, our win at the game, not seeing you but 3 times in a year. It all piled up, and then Whitey and I had a talk about him and Camilla, and how there's more important things in life than basketball, and then… here I was."

"I get that, Luke…"

"I'm not finished," he responded gently. "It may have seemed rash and impulsive, but I've had this ring for 5 months, Peyt. I've put a lot of thought into it. But last night, I was being impulsive. I should've waited longer. I know you have dreams that you need to make come true."

"Yeah, I do, and like you said… none of them matter without _you_. I want you there for everything. Even when you're not here, you're never far, because I carry you in my heart every day."

Lucas pressed his nose to her and nuzzled softly. "Leaving you because you weren't ready was stupid. So incredibly stupid. And I do think we can make it through a year of being apart – I know our love can make it through anything. I was just being selfish and stubborn. I do wish that you were ready, Peyt… but I can accept that for right now, it's not the right time. I can learn to accept that."

Somehow, this caused the lump in Peyton's throat to worsen. "I didn't even get to see it."

"What?" He crinkled his brow.

"The ring. I, uh, I couldn't look at it last night. But I need… I want to see it. Please?"

Lucas reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the - by now - infamous black box. He looked into her eyes for reassurance and then slowly opened it up. Peyton looked down into the box to see the most beautiful diamond ring shining up at her.

There was no way to be sure, and anyway it was probably just her imagination, but she felt like this ring was made especially for her; like there could be no other ring out there that she would ever want. It was perfect for them.

Tears shone in her eyes and she leaned up to press her lips gently to his. "It's beautiful. You did an amazing job picking it out. I love it."

"Read the inside."

She raised an eyebrow and curved her lips into a small smile. _Now we can have it._

Peyton gasped and her smile broadened. "I want to wear it."

"What?" He was taken aback; just last night and this morning she said she wanted to wait.

"I know I said I wanted to wait, and I still do. We have so much to accomplish. But, why can't we be engaged while doing it? After a year, either I'll come back home, or you can come here. We just need that time to achieve our dreams. Can't we just be engaged while we're doing it? I do want to marry you. There's no one else I'll ever want to be with. It's you, Luke."

Lucas's eyes brightened at her words. "Peyt, there's another reason I came back."

"What's that?"

"When I was sitting down there, I got a call. An editor looked over my book and…" He purposely paused, making her crazy with wonder.

She slapped his arm, meaning to be gentle, but the excitement carried her away. "What? Lucas, what happened?!"

"Peyton, they want to publish my book. Her name was Lindsay something-or-other and she thinks my book is great. Peyt, it's getting published!"

Peyton hugged him with such great force that it knocked them both down to the bed, her lying on top of him.

When she pulled back, she was crying once again. "Happy tears." She assured him upon his look of worry. "I am so damn proud of you Lucas Scott. I told you it would happen. I knew it; your book is so amazing. You have beautiful words and the world deserves to read them. I knew you could do it," She whispered into his ear.

They lay together, moments of silence blending into the next, just listening to their heartbeats thumping as one. Peyton shifted when she felt the cool metal of the white gold band being pushed onto her left ring finger. She brought her hand up in front of her face to admire her ring; _their_ ring.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear. "I know we can do this."

She nodded and pressed her lips to his, deepening the kiss, their tongues tangling together. "I love you too," she moaned out between kisses and caresses.

_Now I picture things  
Now I picture things_

One year later, as promised, Lucas moved out to L.A to be with Peyton while she chased after her music dream. During that year, Lucas got the ball rolling with his book. There were many long nights and many revisions to his piece of work, but it still remained true to Lucas. Peyton stayed in constant contact with him, acting as his number one supporter the whole way. She even surprised him one weekend when she knew he was in New York, and they celebrated their engagement in style; one night spent at the New York Plaza, complete with strawberries and champagne, and a romantic carriage ride through Central Park.

His book came out 3 months after their weekend in New York. By the time he had taken up residency in L.A with his fiancé the book was well on it's way to becoming a best seller.

7 months after that, Lucas regrettably left on a book signing tour around the country. Peyton was thrilled for him, even though he'd be away for a long time. She knew this meant the world to him, and was behind him all the way.

When he finally returned to L.A, Peyton surprised him with two plane tickets to go home. They were finally getting married. The wedding was small and was held on their beach; the one where they found each other again during the summer between junior and senior years of high school. Only their close friends and family attended. Brooke and Haley acted as bridesmaids, while Nathan was the best man. Karen and Larry stood close by with the now toddlers, Jamie and Lily.

A year and a half later, Peyton told Lucas she wanted to move back home for good, and he was never more thrilled. L.A had been good to them, and with Lucas by her side, Peyton had switched record labels, and moved her way up the ranks there. However, her real dream was to have her own record label; and Tree Hill was the place she wanted it.

It was rarely easy, and there were moments when it all seemed to be too much. Peyton nearly quit the music industry all together, and Lucas had almost thrown in the towel when the editor's tried to take away too much of his book. Being so far away from each other definitely took its toll. But they continued to work hard on their relationship because they knew in each other's arms was where they were meant to be, and they never stopped supporting the other. They were there for each other when their dreams came true and there when they didn't.

In the end nothing else mattered; as long as they had each other.

_Wedding gowns and wedding rings  
Since I let myself fall in love with you_

* * *

Okay, pretty cheesy? Eh, it made me happy to envision a future like this for them. Review, let me know what you think! 


End file.
